Sunday, November 21, 2010

How my Aloe Vera plant is a little like Kanye West

You've heard of cutters, people who habitually slice themselves for various reasons. I'm a burner. Not a Bunsen Burner, but someone whose skin is inexplicably drawn to crazy hot things - curling irons, tops of ovens, handles of sizzling skillets. I've always been a clutz, always. Picture me, age 16, trying to explain to my boyfriend why my I'm the only grandkid still using a sippy cup at Thanksgiving. Even my brother, seven years my junior, graduated to a 'big kid' cup before I did. But I digress.

My Sparkly friend, Stacy, saw a pattern of burning Facebook statuses last spring, and brought me this darling Aloe Vera plant. I have a black thumb, so I did not have much hope for the little plant. But Stacy assured me that a tiny bit of water would sustain it. She was right. It stayed green for months, frequently sacrificing its healing gel to my searing wounds in return for infrequent watering. We were the best of friends. Flash forward to about a month ago. After a particularly brutal burn, and subsequent leaf-butchering, I thought it would be a good idea to give the Aloe Vera some sunshine.

Well, after a few chilly nights spent forgotten outside, my plant was rusty brown and droopy. I glumly returned it to its rightful, warm place on the bathtub, poured a cup of water in the dirt, and hoped for the best.

Within two days the Aloe Vera had not only fully recovered, but its leaves were thicker and healthier than ever.


Not only that, it had little Aloe Vera baby sprouts growing all around!



And that's when I told Josh that my Aloe Vera plant was a little like Kanye West. My poor, patient husband is so accustomed to my non sequiturs. He didn't even blink, just paused and waited for me to explain.

"No, it doesn't accuse presidents of being racist, or counsel its friends to 'tap your brakes and drive slow homie'.

The Kanye West-ish thing about my Aloe Vera plant is -

N-n-now that that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger



Don't act like I never told ya'."